Goodbye Sunshine

We got her when she was a few days less than four months old. I know everybody oohs and aaaahs about puppies but honestly, nothing about her was cute. She was a skinny little bundle, made of long legs, a long nose and huge ears – and of fear. She was a sensitive little soul, intelligent as could be, ready to trust and love – but all her life, she was afraid of sudden changes, of strangers, of anything new and unexpected actually. Once she felt comfortable with where she was and who she was with, she could be quite the goofball, she loved to learn new tricks and was so good at it – she was the only one of my dogs who not only learned to „high five“ us but would even initiate a high five herself when she felt like it (sometimes she would high five me when she had done something bad, as if to say „yeah, I know, I ate the sofa, I’m a bad doggy, but hey, I can do high fives, so all’s forgiven, right?“).

She could be stubborn at times, and quite a handful to handle, and she was fiercly protective of her family. No strangers would have a chance to do any harm to us, not on her watch. The fact that the postman could hardly hand us our mail when she was around, or that neighbourly chats over the fence where completely drowned out by her barking is so beside the point, isn’t it? She watched over us and let everybody know. Period.

When we brought the twins home, she was first one to roll her eyes in a „oh no, please, not again!“ way – but she was also the first to babysit and play with them, and teach them all kinds of shenanigans. Like digging holes. Lots of holes. Deep holes. So deep you’d swear you caught a glimpse of Australia just looking into it. She loved to run and play but she never ran too far away from us, and she would always turn and check to see if we were still there. Simply because she loved to be with us and didn’t want to lose us.

She was so eager to please, and be a good dog. And she was. I’m so sorry because sometimes, I was too impatient. At times because I had to go to work, other times because I was tired from work, or had a long list of household chores to complete. Sometimes when I was in a bad mood, she’d disappear for a while, wait for me to calm down, and then come and place her head (or sometimes her entire person) in my lap, and help me to leave whatever bugged me behind. I’m going to miss that terribly.

We knew what was going to happen. She didn’t want to go out in the morning, she didn’t want to be with us in the living-room, she stayed in the bathroom, in a dark corner under the sink, and just dozed off. We checked on her regularly, that was all we could do. She was comfortable (well, as much so as she could be, considering the circumstances, and we made sure she wasn’t in pain), and she wasn’t alone. She passed away peacefully at home.

27th May, 2009 – 11th November, 2018

Goodbye Peanut, my darling sunshine. You’ll always be in my heart.

6 comments to Goodbye Sunshine

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